


Wait for Spring

by Legendaerie



Category: Free!
Genre: Ambigious Future Fic, Awkward Car Boners, M/M, Seasonal Shenanigans, The Fic I Planned To Write But Got Hit In The Face By The Word Count
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-06 02:54:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1101536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legendaerie/pseuds/Legendaerie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's something he treats like some people might treat homework, an injury, or an exceptionally annoying relative; maybe if you ignore it, it'll go away.  But it didn't work when he was Australia or his first semester home and Rin's somewhat become resigned to the little fluttery feeling he gets on occasion when he catches sight of Haruka.  </p><p>(bonus part for the Iwatobi Writer's Christmas Exchange - previously titled Body Heat)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was the ACTUAL fic I was going to do for the Iwatobi Writer's Exchange but then I saw the recommended word count was like 1k? but you're also apparently allowed to do more so coffeebeans gets two YAY 4 COFFEE BEANS
> 
> broken into two parts because i actually ditched the work when i realized how long it was.... ahahahahha

It's a late January afternoon and Rin's the last one to leave the showers, water still dripping down his back as he pulls on a shirt to the sound of Seijuro's phone ringing. All eyes give the bright redhead a curious look, which he echoes until he picks up.

"Mikoshiba speaking... Gou-kun?!" The locker room goes silent, as everyone's attention level spikes - especially Rin's. "I, I didn't... No, I'm not busy."

His wide smile is a perfect counter-expression to Rin's frown, which is gathering like storm clouds on his face, and most of the other students take this as their cue to leave.

"I can meet you wherever you-- wait, where's that? ... That does sound in the middle of nowhere. Text me the address and I'll be there as soon as I can. See you soon, Gou-kun!"

He hangs up the phone with a giddy smile, shoving his pants on and blasting his whole body with deodorant spray as Rin locks up his belongings. "Oi, captain. What's my sister want with you?"

Seijuro has the decency to tense up a little under Rin's bone-chilling stare. "It, uh... seems that someone's car broke down on their way to run some errands, and she asked me to come pick her up." He offers a winsome smile.

Rin is having none of this. "I'm coming with you."

Seijuro freezes, a bit like the proverbial deer in headlights, and tries to start several different sentences but they all wither under the force of Rin's protective glare. There is no way in hell that he's going to let his captain pick up his little sister alone - not that he really thinks Seijuro would do anything, but he doesn't want Gou to be in that kind of situation.

"... Fine," the captain relents, looking decidedly uneasy as Rin follows him outside, "but you're sitting in the back seat."

 

* * *

 

"You brought Rin," Gou comments, shifting from foot to foot in the cold with her hands shoved deep in her pockets and sandwiched between Nagisa and Haruka, with Rei standing aloof to one side. Sitting directly behind the driver, her brother readies a knee to dig into the back of Seijuro's chair if he starts anything.

"Yeah," Rin replies as Seijuro grins sheepishly, "I tagged along. I didn't know they're be so... many of you."

"Mako-chan had to go with his car when they towed it," Nagisa pipes up, always one to fill in the uncomfortable silences, and he bundles Haruka into the car first. Rin tenses up and presses himself closer to the door of the car,catching a glimpse of deep blue eyes before a body snugs up against his side.

He did not sign up for this.

Rin opens his mouth to protest, then Gou gives Seijuro a glare as she slides into the front seat with all the grace of a displeased queen, and he decides just not to bother with it today. Nagisa pushes Haru closer to him, then the other door closes and traps Rin thoroughly into the vehicle. Well, if he really wanted to he could open the door on his side, but then he'd have to walk home in the cold.

He snorts and wraps his limbs a little closer to his body, mentally preparing himself to be well and thoroughly sardine-d in the back seat the whole way home.

"So," Seijuro starts, "where should we go first?"

"We never finished our errand," Rei offers around the same moment that Gou spits out, "home." There's an awkward silence as the engine turns over and while Rin can't see Seijuro's expression he assumes it's an uncomfortable one. He considers adding his knee to the list of 'things to make his Captain squirm' but there's also the chance that both members of the front seat will get fed up with his shit and shove him in the trunk. Or tie him to the roof of the car.

Why did he ever think his sister needed his protection, again? She's a Matsuoka. They are forces of nature, crimson typhoons each.

... God, if she ever has kids with someone like Seijuro or, heaven help them, Nagisa, the world would burn.

"Let's go ahead with our shopping, since we're already out and it's kind of on the way home, Gou-chan!" The blond reaches forward and pats the female Matsuoka on the shoulder, giving her a huge wink as he does so. Rin rolls his eyes and glances out the window, mentally checking out of the conversation. Maybe if he pretends he's not here, everyone else will just let him vanish.

Unfortunately, this means that his focus shifts to the warm leg pressed against his and the sound of Haruka's slightly ragged breathing close enough to his ear it almost stirs his hair, and that's not something he wants to be focusing on in this company. Nagisa especially - the brat could be extremely perceptive, and his not-really-sort-of-very-strong-since-elementary-school-off-and-on-again crush on Haruka was not something he wanted discovered. Ever.

It's something he treats like some people might treat homework, an injury, or an exceptionally annoying relative; maybe if you ignore it, it'll go away. But it didn't work when he was Australia or his first semester home and Rin's somewhat become resigned to the little fluttery feeling he gets on occasion when he catches sight of Haruka.

At least he can hide it pretty well. Both swim teams are on good terms with each other, and he has every intention of having things stay that way, weird fluttery emotions be damned.  Things are fragile.  He will take this slowly.  Even if it takes forever.

His eyes close in brief frustration and resignation as Nagisa cajooles the radio on, and Rin leans back against the seat as the car heads forward to where ever they decided to head while he was mapping out dangerous waters in the seas of his mind. He glances sideways, about to hazard a conversation with Haru when everything in his mind kind of grinds to a halt.

Haruka's eyes are closed, soft lips slightly parted and his head tilted back and definitely, certainly asleep. How he'd managed that during the chaos is beyond Rin's ken, but it's an almost enviable expression of peace on the other's face. There's also the subtle bonus of being able to study his friend's face from this close, and if he only sat up he could kiss--

No, no, no, no.

Rin snorts a little and glares at the scenery again, the one rolling by outside as flakes of white started to flutter down in clumps, oblivious to the actions of any of the other participants in the car as he sulks at his own behavior. Not that he'd really have been able to talk civil and casual to Haruka, but... did he have to fall asleep so fast? How boring.

Any chance Rin had of some sort of... salvation to this awkward situation is apparently narcoleptic, or just chronically bored and tired. It's so like Haruka, though.

A few more minutes pass as Rin continues with these looping, self-pitying thoughts, until an idea strikes him. Wouldn't it be romantic if Haruka had fallen asleep on his shoulder?

He glances over to his left again and tries to gauge what kind of movement he'd have to do to make Haruka flop over in his direction; maybe if he hip-checked him really carefully and lowered his shoulder...

Rin glances away, feeling his ears getting a little hot, then he very carefully shifts his lower half in Haruka's direction. It accomplishes nothing of what he wanted - instead, Haruka's hands just shift slightly in his lap. Gritting his teeth and refusing to look at what he's doing, he pushes a little harder.

When a cool hand brushes the top of his thigh, he almost jolts entirely out of his seat, muffling a little grunt of surprise. This of course does not go unnoticed, and Nagisa leans into Rin's field of vision, strawberry-soda eyes sparkling.

"Rin-chan, what's--"

Then he glances down, just as Rin's taking Haruka's hand by the wrist like it's a dead, distasteful object and placing it back into safer territory. Nagisa looks up at Rin again. Then down.

His lips form the tiniest little circle and Rin gives him the most vicious glare possible.

"Everything all right back there?"

"Peachy," Rin spits, still locking gazes with Nagisa who doesn't even have the decency of looking embarrassed by proxy. He takes out his anger as he digs his knee into the back of Seijuro's seat. A little hiss of discomfort lets him know he hit his target, and no more questions come in from the front.

He chances a glance of Nagisa's shoulder, trying to check how much of a threat Rei might be, but the other boy is either too dense or actually too clever to even bother getting into the situation, and when Rin looks back at the blond there's only the slightest hint of a grin on his face.

It's a bit like looking into a mirror at his childhood, mischievous self and it's somewhat unsettling. Rin settles himself back into his seat, giving up on the whole endeavor before his certain predicament swells into an actual problem, and stares out the window again.

Something warm and soft and smelling unmistakably like chlorine hits his shoulder, and when he half turns his head to look his cheek brushes soft, snow-damp hair.

Rin goes very still.

It's the same sort of feeling a child might get when a wild animal approaches them and eats out of their hand; that feeling of terrifying, elating honor at being allowed to be the exception to the rule, and he absolutely refuses to look at anyone until he can swallow the worst of the sensation.

He still doesn't move or speak more than the minimal amount the rest of the car ride.

Their destination finally ends up being at the far end of some rather massive parking lot packed with cars, and Rin digs at Seijuro's back again.

"Will you knock it off, Rin?" Seijuro's apparently recovered from his star-struck state enough to give the other red-head a peeved look, one he retracts as Rin makes a shushing noise coupled with a rather violent gesture. "What?" he adds, rather meekly.

"How am I supposed to move?" And he glances down at the sleeping Haruka, who's almost started to drool on his shoulder.

"Wake him up I guess?" Gou starts to reach for the dark-haired man, but Rin bares his teeth in a reflexive, Matsuoka-patented warning of a bite that he hadn't bothered to whip out since they were elementary school kids. Internally, he's aware that his over protective nature is probably digging his own grave but he almost got a boner trying to wiggle Haruka into position and he is not ready to have someone else take it away from him.

Nagisa offers another, even worse solution. "Just stay in the car while we go shopping. It's not like there's anything you need here, right?"

He hesitates, and in that moment and with a glance between Gou and Nagisa, his fate is sealed. The car doors pop open and his four conscious companions flee, leaving him silently sputtering.

"But... But it's January? Won't it get cold?"

"Don't worry, Matsuoka-senpai," Rei chimes in as he closes the door gently, eyes unreadable behind his glasses, "I'm sure your combined body heat will keep the interior nice and toasty." Then he winks.

Rin's mouth actually drops open a bit from shock, but he can't think of anything to reply to that until their forms are rapidly vanishing into the snowy sunset, and he ends up muttering a quiet, furious, "shit."

On his shoulder, Haruka sleeps on, his hair just barely tickling the edge of Rin's jaw, and he consigns himself to his situation. It's actually not that bad, so long as Haruka's hands don't trickle into his personal space again; it's a little easier to enjoy the closeness when there's not the fear of discovering hanging around his head.

The answer to why he's so afraid of others knowing is a simple one; a fear of rejection. He's not exactly been the best person to Haru throughout their years of knowing each other. Rin's more or less harassed him into a lot of situations like an angry, unwanted coach or an aggressive parent trying to live vicariously through their child, and while he can internally recognise it as a projection of his own ambitions he knows such excuses don't really count for shit.

Haruka didn't ask him to bully his way into Haruka's life, even if many of the things Rin pushed him into ended up being things that he needed. It's still horribly selfish of him and he wishes... he could have been better at those things. Especially after he'd come home. God, what a mess he'd made of things.

Rin sighs, melancholy, into Haruka's hair.

"Sorry, Haru. I'm a shit friend."

He blames the fact that his nose is buried in strands of ink saturated with the intoxicating smell of pool and sea and rain and snow, the whole damn water cycle, but he figures since he's already there...

The kiss is feather light, barely there, a faint press of contact and a smacking sound in the silence broken only by their breathing, but it happens anyway. His romantic sentiments thus satisfied, Rin turns his head away and rests his cheek on top of Haruka's head.

But good things never last for long.

"Rin?"

The first thing to hit him in the panic - he catches it before he can make him do anything but jump and jostle Haruka further awake if it was even possible, and scrapes his composure from somewhere off the back of Seijuro's seat.

"Oh, uh, they decided to leave us in the car since you were asleep. What's up? You cold?"

The words just kind of spew out of his mouth in awkward middle schooler style, ones he kind of regrets especially when Haruka raises his head and looks Rin dead in the eyes. Their faces are still rather close.

"Did you just kiss me?"

His hand tries to come up and ruffle his hair nonchalantly, but it gets stuck somewhere in the limited space of the car and just kind of hovers awkwardly under Haruka's chin. "Tch, no. What gives you that idea?"

His face still looks pleasantly calm and open; maybe it's because he's still sleepy or maybe it's because Rin usually elicits an expression of varying degrees of stress and irritation from the blue-eyed swimmer.

"Your face is really red."

Rin swallows. "It's probably just from the cold."

"Probably," echoes Haruka. Then deliberately, he settles back into place on Rin's shoulder, his lips just grazing along the bared skin at the neckline of his shirt and Rin's fingers dig into his jeans. But he doesn't dare to breathe, to move, and he waits for Haruka to fall back asleep and for everything else to just be buried and muffled under the snow.

Silence, cold and heavy as the precipitation outside, weighs in the vehicle for another long moment. Then Haru states, quite calmly, "you do know I can hear your heartbeat, right?"

" _So fucking what_?"

"It's going really fast."

Rin's mind is buzzing with little more than the word 'fuck' - both as a curse and as a verb. "Yeah, well you shouldn't go around kissing guy's necks anyway."

"As a rule? Or just you?"

"As a-- general rule, I guess, I--"

Haruka kisses him again, this time a little higher on the neck but just as gently, just as chaste. Yet he would have been no worse off dragging his fingernails along the inside of Rin's thigh, because the red head's back arches off the seat a bit and a faint whine escapes his nose as his head goes a little light.  God, why did Haruka chose to kiss him _there_ of all places, he is going to be a mess the whole way home.

The other swimmer reacts at this at least, jerking away, and when concerned blue meets passionate red Rin just throws in the towel. He pitches forward, one hand reaching forward to grab a handful of dark hair, then presses his mouth to Haruka's like the only air left in the universe is in the other man's mouth.

At first it's absolutely awkward and kind of terrible for both parties, since Rin is almost certain his teeth cut Haruka's bottom lip, then Haruka shifts and things unexpectedly going from 'bearable' to 'amazing.' It's a kiss that feels like it's fueled by years of foreplay, not by a few moments in a car in a snowy parking lot - but maybe it was. Haruka's fingers slide along Rin's jaw, cupping his face in a movie star cliche'd kind of way, and Rin tries to pull him closer, wants Haruka in his lap but also wants so badly to just slow things down and savor the moment.

He wants to savor each shallow pant shared in the spaces between their kisses, open mouths faintly slick with saliva; wants to savor the way Haruka's the one who leans in this time, slots their lips together like the missing pieces of a puzzle and flicks his tongue along Rin's lower lip just before he bites down on it with a suggestion of pressure. Grip tightening on Haruka's hair, he groans into the other's mouth and tries to take back the advantage and initiative, even now still feeling the drive for competition though the goal is still years away.

It's not a submission, not a loss when Haru lets Rin slide his tongue inside the other's mouth, opting to explore the safer territory of a mouth not inhabited by damnably sharp teeth; it's more like teamwork as Rin turns sideways in his seat, the angle of his hips making his spine twist in odd directions as their legs somewhat tangle. It's not perfect either because it'd be so, so much easier if Haruka would just lay down and let Rin crawl all over him but they can't do that because they're--

Something thuds heavily into the side of the car, and both boys yank apart, at least one of them terrified that it's Nagisa. But it's not, directly, but Rin would bet a semester's tuition that the remnants of the snowball he can make out from the foggy window was a result of the blond's actions. Rin settles himself back into his seat, crosses his legs and tries very hard to think about his next exam.  Or anythingthat had nothing to do with the fact that his skin was still tingling.  Like actually tingling.

He was a goner.

Moments later, Nagisa himself thumps into the door and Rin gives him a placid look out of the corner of his eye - the blond only has to grin knowingly into the window and he is _done_ , whipping his head around to stare out the other side so fast it almost gives him whiplash. The front seat opens, and Seijuro slides back into his seat, starting up the car as Gou joins him looking weary but pleased. But it's not until Rei slides in next to Haruka that Rin suddenly realizes that Nagisa's vanished--

And then the back door on Rin's side of the car is yanked open and the red head jumps, almost falling out onto the cold, cold pavement. Nagisa rubs the inside of the glass with his sleeve, looking comically confused.

"Geez, it got really foggy in here while we were gone," is all he remarks.

"Get bent," Rin hisses as he's forced to scoot more in the middle of the vehicle and Nagisa makes him into the filling of a swim team sandwich. Nagisa just laughs and at least has the decently to throw his coat over their shared laps and doesn't say a word about it the rest of the way home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing holiday fics with deadlines while watching the super bowl is not something i'd recommend
> 
> HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND MERRY BIRTHDAY RIN

Several days later, snuggled next to his sister at the train station, Rin doesn't expect the little brightly colored box that plops into his lap. He pulls away, slightly puzzled, and gives Gou a curious look. He's heading home for the weekend to celebrate his birthday - in peace, he hopes, but also knows his friends well enough to assume there'll be a party waiting for him at home. Whether he wants it or now.

"It's a birthday present," Gou informs him.

"I gathered," he comments dryly, his touch gentle and hesitant, reverent on the wrapped corners of the package. It feels fragile. A lot of things feel fragile. He feels fragile, having skipped the last joint practice with Iwatobi half from nerves and half from a light case of the flu. Nitori was still laid out from the same bug and was almost certainly heading home to his own family to be nursed all weekend, so he's lucky to have recovered so quickly.

But he's still cautious about-- a lot of things. Mostly Haruka.

His sister jabs him in the ribs, aggressively affectionate. "Open it."

"Here? Why now?"

"Because," Gou pauses, pursing her lips and looking upwards for inspiration - his sister is really cute, and while he'd still tear out Mikoshiba's throat with his teeth if his captain so much as touches her hand without her consent he doesn't exactly blame him - and continues hesitantly with, "well, I just... got sick of waiting?"

Yeah, there was a party waiting for him when he got home.

"Sure."

She prods him again and he caves, opening the paper as best as he can without tearing it - "You're supposed to rip the paper, big bro!" "It's my present, I don't have to tear the paper if I don't want to!" - to reveal a sleek, stylish pair of swimming googles. High end swimming googles, too - mirrored just the way he liked them, too.

"Googles," he states, and her face falls a little. He adds, quickly, but likely not quickly enough, "they're perfect."

"You mean it?"

"Yeah," and he does, smiling a bit as he flips the box over. "This brand's kind of hard to find. Wait, how did you know..."

Gou smiles sheepishly. "Remember that time you and Mikoshiba came and picked us up? We'd actually been shopping for your gift. I asked for their help, since they know swimming gear so well."

"Really?"

His hands tighten somewhat around the goggles, treasuring them more for the memory; they weren't just from Gou, they were from all his friends. Somehow. By proxy.

... This also meant they were from Haruka, and that he'd have to get everyone gifts for their birthdays too. Nice ones, too. Kind of a pain, but...

He's absurdly pleased. Probably blushing a bit too.

Gou continues cheerfully, no doubt noticing her brother's expression. "Yeah, I was pretty mad when I saw you'd tagged along, but then Haruka fell asleep on your shoulder and kept you in the car! I made sure to thank him later, since I'm sure it was pretty cold in the car. Rin?"

_Oh_.

Just that quickly, his good mood had vanished, draining away with a cool feeling of numb despair. It had all been... a ruse then. Just something to keep him busy while his sister shopped.

Never mind the flush to Haruka's cheeks - never mind the soft feel of his hair, his lips against Rin's neck. Never mind any of that. It meant nothing, after all.

But Gou's still looking at him curiously, and it's a very thoughtful gift, so he pushes his palm against her forehead and forces a smile.

"Come on. Let's head home."

 

* * *

 

Of course there's a party.

He's a little bitter at the start, but Nagisa's persistently annoying enough for Rin to bully off the worst of his disappointed temper, and no one can really stay mad around Makoto. Then he's obligated to tease Rei about his swimming, so if he's a little cold no one seems to notice.

He can feel Haruka's eyes on him, though, and Rin makes an effort of pleased nonchalance as they eat dinner at his mother's place. Mrs. Matsuoka mostly keeps to herself, lurking in the kitchen with Gou whenever the conversation gets too deep into the technical aspect of swimming. Which it does often, and generally ends with everyone teasing Rei, or Rin, or some other member of the Iwatobi club.

Rin leans back on the mat, legs still folded under the kotatsu, trying not to brush his legs against his friends' as he lets out a deep breath.

"Let's see... I think it'd be, [ _Rockhopper penguins are my favorite flightless birds_ ]."

"You think?" Nagisa's voice is accusatory, merry. "How long were you in Australia?"

"It's not like the topic of penguins came up much," Rin defends.

"What about, the butterfly is the most beautiful of all strokes?"

Rin rattles that phrase off in English without too much hesitation; he tries to keep up the air of pleased distance even as a sudden spark of heat hits him as someone's leg brushes his under the table. He doesn't have to look. He knows.

He sits up and looks anyway.

Haruka is picking at the orange Makoto is peeling for them both, blue eyes deep and clear. Not like the sea, because the sea can be vicious and murderous just as much as it can be sparkling and gentle. Not like the sky, because the sky is too far away. Not like gemstones, because crystals are hard and sharp on the edges. His eyes are just... blue. The blue of pools. The blue of promises.

He's seen those eyes go empty before, and he doesn't care to again. Even if the memory of the kiss makes him feel both hot and cold, and he wants to look away.

"Can you say, ' _I like the spring_ '?" Haruka asks, his gaze on the orange peels as he bites into a section of the fruit.

"Pshh," Rin snorts, "too easy." Too close, also, to slip and say 'I like Haru.' He snatches a section of orange, making deliberate eye contact with Makoto - who doesn't stop him - and collapses again. "Makoto, how about you?"

"Can you sing something in English?"

"Technically, yes," he hedges. "I'm not that confident about my singing--"

"Rinrin's not confident about something?" pipes Nagisa. "How exciting. Now you have to make him sing, Mako!"

Makoto waits for Rin to quiet down before launching into his request. "Can you sing the Happy Birthday song for yourself?"

He makes a buzzer noise and rolls onto his side. "Nope, try again. Too embarrassing."

"Awww, really? You're no fun." Makoto chuckles, but knows when to drop an issue. Makoto knows everything. It kind of sucks sometimes, to have friends who are just inherently amazing about things, like Makoto with his people skills and Haruka with swimming and art and Nagisa and his other kinds of people skills. At least Rei knows what it's like to have to work hard for something.

"I don't have to do anything. It's my birthday," Rin growls as Nagisa crawls over and drapes himself over Rin's stomach, "I don't have to do anything."

"Then I'll make you sing at my birthday party!" The blond informs him, and he doesn't doubt it.

 

* * *

 

Eventually, the party dies down and his friends start trickling away; Nagisa and Rei leave together, snuggled close but not before Nagisa hands Rin two tiny wrapped boxes when Gou's not looking, giving him a huge wink and whispering him to open them in private. Then Makoto rises to leave, expecting Haruka to join him but finding him fast asleep, his head buried in his arms on Rin's table.

"I'll leave him, then," and Makoto gives Rin a gentle smile and a small gift of his own. This time Gou sees and swats him.

"You're so rotten! You said we'd all chip in on the one present!"

"It's nothing big," the brunet protests softly as he's herded out the door, leaving Rin with a sleeping guest and three unexpected presents.

Rei's, or so he guessed from the vibrant purple bow, is a simple little good luck charm, along with a note about the psychology of such items; but what disturbs him is the fact that it says, 'Wait for Spring.'

... Using the same kanji as found in Haruka's name.

Rin moves on to the next present, this one Makoto's, and unwraps a box of green tea nestled in a sturdy, wood and metal mug. It's a thoughtful gift, and he takes a moment to inhale the scent of the tea as he glances across the table at Haruka.

The bitter feeling comes back, and he tears the paper on his last present to reveal a little keychain of the Iwatobi's mascot. The craftsmanship is actually fairly solid, and he gives the little deformed bird a curious look... before realizing that the keychain had been tucked into the package alongside a maroon speedo.

'You should show off your legs like I do, Rinrin! >w<" reads the note, and he snorts. Piling the presents in a neat heap in the corner of the table, Rin leans forward and studies his sleeping ex-teammate.

If he's faking (again) he's doing a good job of it - he flinches drastically when Rin flicks him in the forehead with his finger and comments coolly, "everyone else has gone home, so you'd better leave soon too."

Haruka scowls a bit at him, like he did when they were kids, and glances around the room. "Is Kou here?"

"She's in the kitchen. Why?"

He rises then, and retrieves his backpack that he'd left at the front door - Rin's actually really surprised he hadn't noticed it earlier, but he's distracted at the sight of a long, flat box emerging from the inside. The black-haired swimmer passes the package over wordlessly, dropping his head back onto the table.

Rin peels back the wrapping to reveal a framed, careful pencil drawing that it takes him a minute to study. A man with dark hair and a carefree smile. He looks so familiar...

"I've been staying up late working on it. I had to ask your mother for photographs," and Haruka stifles another yawn, "I think I got it right."

And then Rin understands.

He grits his teeth, sucks in a deep breath, tries to steel his resolve... but he fails, and a single drop traces down his cheek to land on the glass, slide down the image of his father's forehead. His father.

"You..."

Haruka's watching him now, and he feels so rotten again; so selfish, so wrong for not believing in his friends.

"So, just now... and that time before... you really were sleeping, weren't you?"

"Yes," Haruka scowls, scooting a little closer to Rin as he mutely hugs the portrait to him, taking in a heaving breath. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I th-thought," Rin pants, closing his eyes and calming down, riding out the shockwaves of the intense affection that makes him feel like he's being bound to this moment, this image, this boy. "I thought you didn't care."

And that's not completely what he means, so he tries again after a watery little sniff.

"Sorry, I mean, like... when you stayed in the car and then you kissed me I thought it was... Gou told me about how you helped her get the goggles, and I..."

There's no way he can say this without sounding like a selfish, terrible person all things considered, so he gives up and buries the sentiment to smile at Haruka.

"Thank you, Haru. For... for so much."

Haruka's eyes are on him, and when he smiles he notices those blue eyes shine suddenly, widen and deepen like a sudden glimpse of the sea on the horizon. Then he smiles, too, almost - in the Haruka-like way of his.

"You're welcome."

Rin feels foolish and selfish and so much like he did last time he cried around Haruka, but when he reaches his hand across the tabletop another set of fingers lace with his, clench tight around him.

It's taken a while, but he's finally starting to thaw.


End file.
